I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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