Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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