i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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