Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
