Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
