ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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