come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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