i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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