So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
