Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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