atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
