This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
