its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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