you traded sex for a burrito?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
