if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
