I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize