she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
