if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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