We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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