I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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