This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
