I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
