"it" just moved
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
