you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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