am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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