i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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