wakey wakey hands off snakey
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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