I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
