The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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