it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
