you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
