You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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