Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
