Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Alive.
So much puke
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
