I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
