saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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