She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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