I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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