Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
