why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize