google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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