Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
