Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
