whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Damn victory sex feels great
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