That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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