You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
