Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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