If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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