haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
as a side note pls kill me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices