Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.