I need help removing her.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.