Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
