My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize