"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize