babies were throwing up all over the place
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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