I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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