Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
