There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
