it wasn't lemon gatorade
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
