You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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