Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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