If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
