he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
