One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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