I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize