you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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